I can’t sleep, so why not write? And/or type at a very awkward angle in bed which is definitely going to make my shoulder hurt later.
Let’s talk about work since it’s all I do and it’s kind of entertaining. A few things of interest have happened. While I sweep and clean, I generally keep an eye out for loose change because it’s fun and you ain’t never too rich to pick up a penny. Says Suze Orman, my personal/via tv financial advisor. Usually I’m ecstatic about a dime or a quarter, but a few days ago I found a ten dollar bill! It was like hitting the mega millions. About twenty minutes later, a saw a $20 bill drop to the ground right in front of me, but since it seemed to have dropped from a guy I picked it up, tapped him on the shoulder and gave it to him. I don’t even know if it was his. Well yesterday God decided to reward me. I found two pennies within the first ten minutes of my shift while I was sweeping…. and then I found a folded up HUNDRED DOLLAR BILL under a completely empty table. I felt like I was being put in a sting operation or something and the FBI was going to come cuff me and take me away.
But no, someone really just dropped $100 and I found it. And I kept it. Because. Just because. And it wasn’t like it dropped out of a check book for a server because I would have heard that someone was short an entire $100. But then the rest of my shift went super slow because I was like, “well damn, I already made my money for today I just want to go home and put it in my money jar.” BUT then another thing happened which makes me think I’m going to get rejected from my potential school tomorrow because great things like this never happen to me. I was clearing off a table and someone left an entire untouched piece of cheesecake in a to-go container. SO I ATE THAT. It was so amazing. That was the best scavenged find ever because it wasn’t even on a plate it was straight in the to-go container with the piece of wax paper still on it. So, to recap- who found $100 AND a piece of cheesecake all in one shift? This girl.
Another story- on weekends we have security. A couple weeks ago they came in handy because we cut off this guy at the bar and he wanted to drink more and he got up in my managers face and then was stupidly trying to confront him in a video with his iphone so the security and the rest of these beefy servers got all up in his face. I wanted to join in but I’m a little ass white girl. Last weekend security had to go kick somebody out because they had sex in the women’s bathroom and were not remorseful about it when confronted. Unfortunately this occurred after I had left (although I don’t know how because the place was only open for another half hour after I left) but it was on a night when the club two doors down had a “day soiree” (read- day drinking event) and a thousand drunk-ass animals came in and wrecked the place. I had a family with three small kids walk out because they were getting scared of these screaming, cursing hooligans. It was the night of the Miami-Boston basketball game. So it was my hell because the place was packed with animals, all the TVs were tuned to one game and the SOUND was on loud on top of the music so it was very loud and confusing and crowded and unruly. I’m kind of surprised we survived.
THEN I had two days off and all hell broke loose. They fired two of my favorite people. Apparently a bunch of servers have been manipulating the computer system so that when their customers don’t realize they’re ordering something on the special menu they charge them regular price, but then after they pay change it in the system to the discounted price and pocket the difference. Very clever, but also really stupid because a consulting company watches the computer data. So my favorite beautiful black man got canned, and then my other favorite server- this big blonde snuggly kid who always sings when we clean dishes- got ARRESTED and walked out the front door in handcuffs because he wouldn’t admit to it.
It doesn’t end there. Today I opened and worked the lunch shift. We were particularly short on servers for a lunch on a Thursday, only 7, but even worse only one of them was a veteran and the others were new. An hour into the shift, right before things picked up, one of my managers pulled me aside and said, “we’re taking xx off the floor and moving this person to his section.” I was like, “…….. you’re taking him off the floor…..” and gave her a I-know-this-is-bad-news glance and she said, “don’t tell anyone, just handle it.” So, minutes later, xx gets pulled into the back room where I can see three managers seated with a bunch of papers and they confronted him for a good twenty minutes. I saw him arguing too. We all knew what was happening, we knew they were looking for other people. And then he was gone, and lunch went on. With about 35 simultaneous tables and 6 servers so it was definitely stressful. Another one bites the dust. I don’t think he’ll be the last one. If I had to guess off the top of my head I could probably name three other people who probably give themselves a little bonus on the side. It just sucks. They were just stupid- stupid to bite the hand that feeds but also stupid to leave an enormous paper trail of it. Tsk tsk tsk.
And then there are the normal things- old ladies tell me they like my sexy tights, I scavenge breadsticks, creepy kid kisses me on the cheek, servers tell me they want to touch my boobs, I get questioned about the boyfriend that I don’t actually have, etc, etc. Oh but today a little girl in a purple dress threw the most stunning fit ever. She refused to get into the booth with her family for a good 25 minutes and instead just stood directly in the middle of the center aisle outside of the kitchen. I tried to talk to her, I tried to bribe her, I tried to make her laugh. Kid didn’t budge. Finally her parents physically picked her up and bookended her into the booth with their bodies. Next thing I know she’s eating chicken fingers and is totally fine. I had to admire her. Even I couldn’t be that stubborn for that long. They even bribed her with ice cream and she didn’t budge. It was amazing.
