The Best and Most Tame Spring Break Ever

I quit my job in mid-December, and since then I haven’t had a hot minute to catch my breath, so when I finally got a week off from both schools I attend, it was much needed. Four years ago for spring break I was galavanting around Acapulco, Mexico with 25 or so of my college friends. Inhaling tequila and guacamole, staying out until 5am, falling on our asses, making out with people we shouldn’t. It was amazing. This spring break I cleaned my room and it was almost as glorious.

Here are some of the things I did this week that were among the most enjoyable things I’ve ever done in my life, just because I had the privilege of choosing how to spend my time, rather than it being scheduled for me.

Saturday night I went to White Plains and popped my Container Store virginity. It was amazing. I spent too much money. More importantly, I got these boot hangers to keep my boots up straight and I love them so much that I’ve decided I need more. After that, me and my gentleman friend discovered the single best show in the entire world, which I’m watching right now: MudCats. It’s basically hicks catching giant catfish with their bare hands. My life will never be the same. Then Sunday morning we went to iHop which was amazing because I haven’t had it in years. I got Nutella crepes with banana slices and whipped cream. More on this story later.

After I worked all weekend, I spent Monday in bed, I think. It was awesome. Oh and I picked up like $300 in tips and a paycheck from work. It put my jar-o-cash over the edge so I actually put it in the bank. AND! I found out that my tax refund is huge (because I spent more than 7% of my income on medical expenses last year, thanks mostly to my super abusive ex who caused me to spend thousands in therapy in an attempt to stop having terrifying nightmares about him) and it will totally cover my A&P II class this summer.

Then Tuesday, I had a deep tissue massage with a BBM (beautiful black man), it hurt but it was amazing, and I didn’t even bruise that much. Then I took another nap. Then I met my work bitches in the city at Shake Shack. I haven’t seen these guys since January, even though I talk to them every single day and discuss every possible aspect of life. It was kind of like being reunited with your long lost siblings after ten years in foster care. Back to Shake Shack- I had a shackburger, fries, and a concrete (vanilla with strawberry puree, bananas, and shortbread cookie pieces). Then we saw “Friends With Kids,” don’t see it, it wasn’t good.

Wednesday I don’t know what I did! Oh I think I cleaned my room. I filled up a huge black trashbag of clothes I’ll never wear again for charity, and I still have more clothes laying on my floor because I never actually finished the cleaning. I also hung up a lot of the frames I’ve been collecting for this purpose and only broke 75% of the glass parts in doing so. Because I suck.

Thursday I went shopping, a little bit. I spent $50 in Yankee Candle, partially for my mom’s birthday gift and partially because they had a sale on all votives and wax melts for $1. I got many. My new favorite scent is Cherry Lemonade. I also got one called Fuzzy Blanket. And Tangerine. And Blueberry Scone. Etc. THEN! I went into JcPenney because the sock store closed and I didn’t know where else to find cute tights for work. Well they had a really cute grey pair with black paisley on them, for $3! And I got a beautiful chiffon white long skirt for $30 and a hot pink and brown leather belt for $15. It looks very jcrew. The skirt I simply had to have because it’s very classy and I have about a hundred f*cking million events coming up that require classy clothes. And because I’m super thrifty I opened a JCP credit card and saved myself $10 and I’ll probably never use it again.

This is the skirt:

And this is the belt:

Then I came home and spent roughly 2 hours doing farts and crafts outside (aka spray painting frames white) and planting some of my baby plants. I also played with the puppies and took the cat outside on the leash. He doesn’t understand that you can walk normally on grass so he just crawls. I tied him to the chair and he and the puppies all laid together in the grass and ate it, like little carnivorous sleepy goats.

Here is Buster sitting like a mermaid (note that both of his back legs are between his front legs) and guarding my baby plants:

I got a little burned while I was out there. That’s what happens when you have virtually no skin tone. And then I took a four hour nap and it was glorious.

Oh. And then disaster happened. I made myself some crepes for dinner and globbed Nutella on them with sliced bananas, powdered sugar, and whipped cream. I am allergic to hazlenuts, which are a primary ingredient in Nutella. On Sunday I chose to ignore this fact, apologized in advance for needing to cough and clear my throat for the next 45 minutes, and went about my business and it was worth it. But holy crap, last night I thought I might die. Of course I started coughing as usual, but after about 20 minutes my stomach was cramping and I was nauseous and I spent about a half hour violently gagging in the bathroom (I’ve trained myself to not throw up, as I was way too good at it in other points of my life). It was not worth it. Not worth it this time. I was actually a little scared. I felt like my body had been abducted by a poltergeist or something. And then I passed out and went to sleep. My mom came to make sure I was still alive. I should have downed some Benadryl but I didn’t even think of it.

And now I’m going off to a weekend of slavery at the restaurant, including at double on Easter which I attribute to the fact that most people think I’m jewish, but I’m not.

Woo money!

Here’s to the home stretch of pre-requisites, a month left I guess. And then a month off, and then a month of A&P II and then hopefully school! …… if that stupid envelope EVER COMES.

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