How My Garden Grows

Oh happy day! I finally had a single day off to do whatever the hell I wanted and not study. I am refreshed. I kind of don’t know what to do with myself so I’m cleaning and painting frames and pictures and lighting candles and hanging up clothes and doing a bunch of random things basically like a squirrel, with absolutely no focus. I also took a blessed nap. BUT most importantly, I did NOT plant my little plants and it’s a good thing because it’s supposed to get very cold tonight and they might have died. So for now they’re spending the night in my room, safe from the cat- the destroyer of all things with leaves and dirt.

Gardening is one of my nerd pleasures. I not-so-secretly want to be a farmer and live off the land. There’s just something so cathartic about watching little plants grow from seeds with nothing more than dirt and sunshine and then eventually, just when the time is right you can pick off the fruits (or in this case vegetables) of your labor. I also want a mini-horse. Very badly.

Here is a little growth pictorial of my veggies thus far:

You’ll see that about 8 rows on the right side are not growing. That’s because I didn’t know what else to plant in them. I just put some zinnia, impatient, and pansy seeds in them tonight.

And these are my little friends sleeping in my room tonight. I told them no soda and no rated R movies.

In case you’re wondering, I made myself a little diagram on a piece of paper so I know which plants are which. I have high aspirations of painting little signs to label them. Whether or not that will actually happen is highly debatable. In no particular order, I planted: eggplants, peppers, zucchini, lettuce, green beans, cucumbers, brussel sprouts, canteloupe, sugar snap peas, edamame, chives, parsley, basil, pumpkins, (ruh roh, i just noticed that tomatoes are missing on my list… I could have sworn I bought the seeds), and cat grass because my stupid cat needs greens and instead eats fake plants in my house, which I know because I find them in his litter box in a semi-digested form.

This is the cat eating fake plants:

I should point out that last year I didn’t plant a garden for no other reason than I was just always too tired, but it’s a good thing I didn’t because we had immense amounts of rain and a hurricane and they would have all perished anyway. Also I don’t plant strawberries because the strawberries on a first year plant only grow to the size of a pencil eraser, and we have a plant that is about 6 years old that produces actual edible strawberries.

I was hesitant to plant cucumbers again this year because the last time I did I ended up with about half a million cucumbers, and not only did I have a million of them…. they ended up like this:

The size of my dog. If this happens again I’m going to have to learn how to can and make myself some pickles. Oh god, but I’m going to have to find massive canning jars.

Lastly, the next time I get stressed out and need a little reatil therapy I’m going to buy myself one or more of these little guys ($3.99 at Target).

I like the one with the bucket the most. Super cute.

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One response to “How My Garden Grows

  1. What is the difference between a standard nap and a blessed nap? Does a blessed nap involve members of the clergy or Max von Sydow? I am impressed by the mutant cucumber though. You should try to grow a great pumpkin and maybe you can win a mini-horse as the top prize in the state fair. Then you can load bags of mutant fruits and vegetables on the mini horse and take them into town to sell.

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