You ever have a day when like, absolutely nothing goes right or is easy? I’m having a week of that.
I guess it fully started Friday, when I had a double shift at work, one girl (during the night shift) called out and another girl tried to call out because she had strep but they said she had to come in because we would have died. Oh, she showed up, and she was sweating. She even had a Dr’s note saying she had strep. Of course I have to use the same phone as this girl. I volunteered to stay for her (she had closing shift, I was supposed to leave at like 10), so I worked over 12 hours that day. Then on Monday, I tried to get anyone to take my shift so that I could study for my impossible test Monday night and no one would. Not only would no one take my shift, the girl that was supposed to work with me didn’t show up so I had to manage as the only host for three whole hours, and there were only two servers and it was a circus.
Before this, one of my friends tried to pick a fight with me about some stupid comment I made on facebook (which wasn’t even mean or anything) on behalf of someone else and I was just like WHAT. THE. F*CK. I have no tolerance for fights involving facebook. Is this high school? At first I tried to just say, “ok” but the more I sizzled over it the more I felt the urge to express just how stupid it was. THEN no one came in at 4pm to relieve me so I could last minute study for my test so I had to leave at 5pm and basically I failed my test is what I’m trying to say. I really don’t want to know what I got. It wasn’t even a test it was a practical, which is when you go around to 25 stations (which happened to be bones, like actual human heads staring at you, which is weird, really weird if you think about it too much) and name the three points labeled on the bones. By the time I was halfway through the bones I was mentally dead, so during the next part (the muscles) I just totally bombed. It took like two full hours. Don’t you know that I can’t do tests for more than 40 minutes of I go crazy? Let’s not forget that when I actually got to school still in my work clothes I was basically covered in barbecue sauce residue.
By yesterday, my throat was hurting (because that’s what happens when you’re exposed to someone with Group A strep while she’s contagious) and my back was like a hot mess express. I already have a slipped disc and arthritis in my cervical spine so usually I’ll get like tingling down my arms and into my fingers, but yesterday it was a completely awful throbbing in my shoulder and deltoid and hand. My mom did ultrasound on my back and it hurt so bad because it was just so messed up. She tried to adjust it and she couldn’t because she didn’t want to mess it up more. THEN (actually before this) I tried to pick up my two days of tips at work twice. First I went during the designated hours (2-4pm) and no one could get me tips because all of the managers were in a meeting. So I tried to come back at 8:30pm and no one could get me tips because they were super busy. Tonight I stopped back in around 7pm and the host told me “Don’t even bother, they’re getting audited and no one is allowed in the office.”
I’M SORRY WHAT. Why are you holding my money hostage? I want my money so I can put it in my little glass jar and stare at it and feel safe. Is this even legal? One of my managers was like, “well why do you always come at the worst times?” Ok, A) I came during the designated time and you were having a meeting. B) I can’t usually get here during the designated time because I have frickin a lecture and a lab every single day.
Also I have a “self-study” parasitology test tomorrow. Meaning we never went over any of this entire topic in class and were given a list of parasites to look up and memorize. How many have I memorized right now? None. How many have I looked up? About half. How much do I care? Almost not at all because I’m so tired. I brought my computer to school so I could work on it between classes today. What did I do instead? Curled up in the back seat of my car and passed the hell out for three full hours, like a homeless person. When I woke up my car was alone in the parking lot.
On top of this, I’m having trouble balancing my personal life. At one point in time I thought I made it pretty clear that I have really no time for a personal life. And then I kind of slipped into something, which does make me kind of happy but more often than not makes me stressed because I tend to try to put people before myself and because I’m not able to do that I feel like a Class A jerk. No matter what I say I’m a jerk. That’s it. A big effing jerk. My grades are not as great as they could be. I have no time to just veg. My body is literally radiating pain because I’m not made for this much activity (and schlepping books and busing tables and carrying food and standing for 12 hours at a time). I really have no choice but if I did I would sit on a couch and never get up. I realize that I’m going to be arthritic by the time I’m like 40. That’s what happens when all of your joints dislocate. But the thing that’s more scary is when a doctor looks you right in the face and says that the only things you have to worry about are arthritis, “oh and mitral valve prolapse and aneurysms.” Part of my condition involves the vascular system. That’s why I bruise easily and have had crazy nosebleeds and GI bleeding, because my blood vessels break with very little trauma. Last night I was reading about Ehlers Danlos on the health care provider site (which is scarier than the patient site) and they mentioned that most arterial rupture happens in your twenties and thirties. GREAT. Imagine if I’m stressed about about like some stupid fight and my blood pressure is really high and then BAM I’m dead. I’m dead and I still haven’t even moved out of my parents house. I would be so pissed.
But no matter what I say or do I seem like a big selfish jerk. I’m even getting anxiety about my dogs because they want so much attention from me and I’ve been hiding in my room just so that I can concentrate. They woke me up at 6am by running in here to get me. Social anxiety of your dogs is a big step in the insane direction I think.
Not to mention I’ve already invested $13 dollars in the megamillions and they won’t just let me win it already.
Also I know when I eventually get to work I’m going to have to deal with the psycho server who’s going to have it out for me even more so because he probably got a talking to and he’ll know it involved me just because his behavior toward me has been particularly awful and therefore, it must have been me. Maybe he’s the Long Island serial killer. That would be my luck.
Finally, fuck you pollen.
And let’s not even get into how many days I’m going to have to fight to get off from work for the upcoming bridal showers, graduations, and weddings. All of which seem to conflict with each other. And how many people I’m going to offend by not going to some of them. Forget it. Aneurysm city.