I can barely think, so I’m just going to ramble about a selection of things.
1. Steve Jobs (like you didn’t see that coming)
I can’t believe that his death came as such a shock. In retrospect, it should have been obvious that he was this sick because he stepped down, but that was only August 25th, 2011, which was practically yesterday. I’m impressed that there were no reports of his imminent death in the days leading up, and I’m happy that it happened that way. I don’t often feel bad about celebrities dying, but he’s different, as I’m sure is true for most of the world right now. The outpouring of sadness from so many people is really touching. He had to have been the single most influential person of this century, if not our lifetime. I remember writing things on my mom’s typewriter. How far we have come in only 20 years! Then, the first computer I used in public school which I think was a mac. Then, the weird clunky multi-colored macs in high school. Then, the ipod! Thank god, do you remember scratching CD’s and having them skip? Then itunes, the itouch, iphones (although I personally hold a grudge against iphones because that was definitely a turning point in my most significant relationship, where my boyfriend started to just flat out ignore me, in favor of the stupid iphone), then the macs I used during my internships, and now at work. But most importantly, this here MacBook. I love this computer probably as much as I will love my firstborn. I remember when the hard drive spontaneously broke after a year and I felt as if I had lost my entire life. I love being able to ichat with my sister while she’s away at college. Macs turned webcams from creepy cybersex tools to normal household items. Photobooth, grab, imovie: I can’t imagine my life without them. The thing about Mac OS is that it’s so intuitive. I really only want to kill myself at work, that’s the only time I have a problem with Mac software, and I mainly blame that on my company, and not so much Apple.
Like most people, I just feel such a sense of loss of such a great mind. When I heard that he died, my second reaction was “But what will we do now?” Who will come up with further Apple technology, but not fuck it up to the extent that Facebook has? Apple never has updates that are irritating, they’re always innovative and amazing.
Admittedly, I do not own an iPhone. I have an iTouch, which I don’t even use anymore because I just listen to my iTunes library through my computer at work (also I smashed the crap out of my screen one time in the middle of the night when I dropped it and feel embarrassed using it in public). The only things that keep me from buying an iPhone are the fact that I am absolutely obsessed with my Blackberry Curve rollyball, that’s right, Curve- as in the ancient blackberry, and I really like physical buttons. I’m not one for touch screens. How am I supposed to use a touch screen while driving for instance!? (Just kidding.) (Not really.) What I’m getting at, is that all week I’ve been thinking about getting an iPhone, and now it just seems more important in Steve Jobs passing. I wanted to go to an Apple store today to see the tributes. I love public displays of affection for great people. The ways in which people are mourning him are also really touching because a lot of them have been able to become more expressive and creative because of his innovations. As someone who regularly deals with images and design software, I can’t even begin to tell you how much more superior Macs are to PCs and how much more freeing they are. I love the tributes.
I’m sure you’ve read a lot about him on your own today, but if you want to look at an ok-but not that great slideshow that I stole that image from, here’s a link to the NYT
2. The Nightguard Dilemma
God blessed me with TMJ to make sure I never have sex again. Not only does my face click like a freak, but I grind my teeth while I sleep to the point where I have popped out fresh fillings and my jaw has actually gotten locked shut for days at a time. After just popping out two month-old fillings, my dentist insisted I be fitted for a nightguard- so I can look like a hockey player while I sleep. In between the time I got fitted for and paid $250 for one, and the time I picked it up, I happened to read my dental insurance explanation of benefits for this thing online. NOT COVERED. I repeat, not covered. Not only was it not covered, but my dentist billed the insurance company $750 for it. So the whole three weeks between the time I ordered it and picked it up, I imagined going into the dentist and having to wrestle it away from them without having to shell out another $500 for it. I literally thought of this every night. Thinking of it every night only made me grind my teeth harder. And since I’ve been under tremendous stress at work, I decided to bite the bullet this morning and go get it before I lose all my teeth to the jaw clench of death. The entire 69 floors in the elevator ride up (yo, being in an elevator with a stranger for 57 floors is really awkward, especially when there is no little TV screen to pretend to look at) I pumped myself up for a fight. The only way they would get any additional money out of me would be from my cold, dead hands. I had a list of reasons A-Z as to why I’d rather gouge out my own eyeballs than fork over $750 for a piece of plastic. They are as follows:
“Listen Lady, $750 is airfare to Europe, not a piece of plastic.”
“Listen Lady, if I wanted to spend $750 on a total waste of money I’d go buy a Louis Vuitton bag, not a nightguard which is going to cockblock me forever.”
“Listen Lady, I’m about to lose my job and I could make more working at McDonalds, so if you think you’re getting another $500 out of me I will bite your face off.”
When the doors of the elevator opened I found myself speaking to the receptionist who must live in that office. She fetched it for me and told me to go try it on in the bathroom. It fit perfectly, I felt like Mia Hamm. I went back to the reception desk and told her it was fine, and anticipated her bringing up the bill. She just smiled and said “ok.” I flew out of there like a bat out of hell in disbelief. For once in my life, something was easy. It surely had to be a mistake.
Back in my office, I put that sucker in again, imaging how it might be to sleep with it on. And then I started gagging.
It seems I can’t wear this thing for more than ten seconds without gagging uncontrollably, so that’s good. I just paid $250 for something that makes me want to vomit, and might actually MAKE me vomit at some point in time.
3. It’s me, Madison.
Ahhhh, youtube. This is my obsession of the moment. She’s 5 (now 6) and the fact that she can mimic the makeup tutorials on YouTube so accurately is both really disturbing and highly entertaining. I watched way too many of her videos the other night. This kid has way more interest and ability to do makeup than I ever will.
I really love it, you gotta fry it. Just watch.
Actually, the biggest clue that Steve was on his death bed was that they pushed up the publishing of his biography. Almost no one famous ever does this – most biographies of still living people get pushed back due to tweaking, new information, etc. The fact that he pushed it up so considerably was a clear indication that his health was failing – at least to me.
Anyways, good luck with the site. I read your profile at that site that single people need not mention and I used to live in your town, but no worries I’m too old and not meaty enough for your tastes.